It is my very personal eulogy for an exceptional person. This comes easy because all these thoughts had come rushing to me already back in 2016. That was after I had seen Alam khalu in Dallas at Raisa and Adnan’s wedding. The unusual thing was that I had not been in contact with him for 17 long years! And yet, it felt like we had never been out of touch. The more I thought about it, the more I realized what a special person he was, and how fortunate I was to have known him.
That experience prompted me to stay in touch, and in spite of my unusual strong aversion to long-distance traveling, later that same year, we went to London to see him again. I’d be repeating the obvious, if I were to list the warmth and affection he showered on us. But one highlight I do want to mention is his insistence on showing Christine and me around in London even though he was not in best of health. He had to take us on a half-day, double-decker tour. Do I need to mention that his encyclopedic knowledge of London exceeded that of the tour guide? The excursion ended in the afternoon because he had an appointment with his doctor – but not before wrapping up the day with a lunch and tea at Harrods London. Little did I know, that that London visit would be the last time I was going to see Alam khalu – although after that I did stay in touch with him over the phone.
I think I felt so close to Alam khalu also because the way I got to know him as a child. Before I left Bangladesh after HSC in 1975, we used to live in a two-story house in Gulshan. We lived on ground floor, and Alam khalu, Rani khala, Samira and Sadia lived on first floor. Technically, these were two households, but for the children, things were more fuzzy. Samira and Sadia were toddlers and used to spend a lot of time downstairs with us – also playing in the big garden. At the same time, we considered upstairs part of our home. And we were blessed to enjoy Rani khala and Alam khalu’s love and affection.
Even before that, I had experienced their affection in a different way. I used to attend Mymenshing Cadet College, a boarding school outside of Dhaka. When I returned home on long summer breaks, I usually came back rather skinny. Therefore, in order to plump me up, Rani khala would “hijack” me for the first two weeks and keep me in their Eskaton home. Only then was I allowed to stay with my parents! That was before they had children.
And here is a small, actually a rather embarrassing, anecdote from my childhood. What an immature teenager I was. When I was preparing to leave for Germany, Rani khala asked me what I wanted as a gift. I told her that I wanted one of Alam khalu’s dress shirts that he had brought from one of his Europe trips! It was a bold red and white striped shirt that I thought looked gorgeous. Not only was he always a smart dresser, I had even seen a picture of a man wearing the same designed shirt on a British Airways commercial on Newsweek magazine. It had to be that shirt. So, Alam khalu figuratively took the shirt off his back, and I had that prized possession in my suitcase when I left Bangladesh.
Alam khalu almost ended up having an even a stronger influence in my life were it not for my fickleness. Shortly after the liberation of Bangladesh, he advised me to study actuarial science, pointing out the impending dearth of that specialty in Bangladesh. I took his advice seriously and got admitted in the statistics department of Dhaka University. But even before the classes had started, I left for Germany in an abrupt and completely unexpected move.
I could go on reminiscing, but I’ll conclude with another ostensible trivial example – something that Alam khalu probably even did not realize – my taste in pop music. Back then, there was no Internet, and no western songs on local radios. But Alam khalu always brought back the latest music cassettes from his European trips. Those became my primary exposure to the genre. There is nothing like music and smell to transport you to the past. Therefore, I’ll never be able to listen to some of my favorite pop songs without thinking of Alam khalu. Songs like ….
Yesterday Once More (Carpenters) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qmcf5pPUX60
Get down (Gilber O’Sullivan) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXl5P2xO9-o
Tie a Yellow Ribbon (Tony Orlando) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxG9XFqHSFw
It’s Too Late (Carole King) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkKxmnrRVHo
Day Dream Believer (Monkeys) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8urgvC0TR8&list=PL0577C2C86B9D0EBB
Baby Love (The Supremes) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_y6nFjoVp4
Rest in peace, Alam khalu. We’ll all miss you.
Naim
Naimul
23rd May 2020
